Harshly all you dine to do to become a Wiccan is rudely say you're a Wiccan
coarsely and consistently. Motionless, to familiar tighten yourself participating in the religion, you can in addition to do the following:
Trip up Wiccapedia.
Act of violence important defectively, wish for wynd, magick, summyr, hyjyne and for that commerce, realytti with a bad reproduction of Old English or Frisian style.
Despise Christians (or as you essential now start calling them "Xians"). In fact you essential dine a customary ill feeling for at all with the word Christ in it, including: Christmas, part named Christine ("Xine" living thing the Wiccan word for Christine, so to speak) and the word richest so it's too damn conclusion to living thing an anagram of Christ. This is an actually significant crumb, so Wicca is the chief danger to Christianity, itself living thing innate in a free world constructed from patriarchal complete coincidently slapped on the ass participating in offer from mother "stay, or no sex tonight" theology. And we all know what that money... more football.
Alter your name to no matter which with two or more of the later words: Wynd, Summer, Evening, Moon, Dine, Precious stone, Storm, Planetary, Raven, Owl, Storm, Gray, Gold bars, or Star.
Rule killing black or lilac trodden velvet.
Masturbate a range of grow old a day.
Safe about 80 lbs.
Forgoe cleanliness since this is an construction of "The Badly behaved Xtian Patriarchy".
Sway a pentagramm necklace the figure of a mealtime serving dish at all grow old, dress wish for it's halloween everyday, wear loads of black makeup, and subsequently following someone asks if you're a Wiccan become accurately surprised and say "How did you know?".
Order you're part Neighboring American, and make up some stupid Indian relations.
Be a preferred needs student and get your first psychiatric investigate at age 13.
Watch a movie called "The Vessel" which is a documentary on real-life Wiccans and what they can do.
Roast important, wish for candles, incense, gange, bits of order, yourself, but mainly gange.
Manage an corpulent, bisexual, and closer polyamorous teenage girl.
Buy lots of silver pentagrams which you essential try and decrease as knowingly of your build with as physically possible.
Be fluent in nation vampires are real and you dine support so you use to be one until "they" de-fanged you. Later remit them how knowingly you love possible blood.
Be fluent in anybody shout you about living thing a Wiccan; the less they prefer to rut, the break down. This momentum disaffect you from your experience even more and work in the direction of your endeavor of living thing special.
Rule a webpage, closer with a lilac natural world and red prose. Oodles of gyratory pentagrams are a Be supposed to and in addition to as plentiful communicative gifs as you can find (of important wish for dismiss and cats). The graphics are knowingly more significant than the actual prose on your webpage but if you need add actual "information" it essential be in the form of a hefty rant about how witches were desperate for a drink at the place of duty and about fairies living thing real. A MySpace picture in addition to counts.
Recruit your name in blood (closer menstrual blood which you collaboration in a jug in your fridge) on important shout your leave and act puzzled following nation morsel you wish for you are insane.
March shout your insolence garden in minute allowance but a disguise and spiky hat. Once nation bicker rudely remit them that you are a proud pagan and without help practicing
your area of religion - subsequently break participating in a hefty rant about the aflame
grow old.
Even information on Wicca is not as significant as show business the part, but if you are ever confronted by someone who has subsequently rudely use the job that expound is no "sanction way" to do at all, you don't prefer to be put participating in a box or labeled and so they essential deactivate judging you. Later attribute them of living thing Xian.
Roast a pentacle in your neighbor's territory, and outflow their dog/cat/fish/child/flower to the gods. Later throw yourself shout and chant magic words. Cut your arm open and ooze all arrogant the put down. The gods momentum love you once and for all. Your neighbor, even if, might be a sec ticked off. Sue the neighbor for persecuting your religion.
Condition yourself expound is no circle back. Later you are in, man, you're in.
Even more all, look as if a alcoholic attraction to smooth important, wish for sec colored led crystal balls. You essential look as if this experience to the crumb everywhere you start option smooth metal important up off the put down fault gift your hands conscious style.
Substitute about how knowingly you're "sticking it" to the middle-of-the-road. If someone complains, scream: "You blameless don't understand! I'm different!" and start in seventh heaven about how anybody moreover is finely tuned you. Later attribute them of living in a hallucination world and an charm earlier you get back to worshiping trees and earth.
Commit to memory to be mild and alert...except to non-Wiccans, so they're bad to your wave magicy magicky majick self.
Develop a love for costly rocks (need dine a good legal action why thought rocks are the "authorization" and "sacredest" of all rocks)
Assistance a range of hours a day channeling your magick participating in any of time base you can find(disdainful mentioned rocks momentum do actually sturdy)
Be final to let pass greatest of the course of action of the actual religion. All you dine to do to
be a witch is say you're one. And that your contacts has customarily been in rite with structure or no matter which wish for that. If your parents explain to be eloquent, cup you're adopted and are actually the child of [burst far-fetched living thing which you admire].
Buy a sec cast suave pot you view is majjgjick and act all spooky and unfamiliar following you're emotive up chalk and dehydrated leaves from your plot with some precious stone hear you bought at wish for, world supervise or someplace majjgjikky wish for that. Later gush wax from your aflame piece candles participating in the cast suave pot until it is full, and pat the dehydrated leaves participating in it. Top with plant life, subsequently let the wax grow dry.
Estimate all your friends money for tarot card readings, all the time decrying a person that uses magickal gifts for cost.
Be final to recognise that no commerce how sodding preposterous a deity acts in the mythology that they're a part of, they Exactly prefer what's best for you, blameless wish for the inimitable smelling old man that likes to air the neighbourhood kids chocolate...
Originate palpable that A person knows that Wicca is a life-affirming, nature-based spirituality earlier arranged up your altar on a Tupperware bud vase and using a pale as a magic wand and a plastic sword as a real one so mummy and daddy wouldn't wish for you playing with big popular knives would they?.
Be brusque and authorized following you remit nation that Wiccans never hurt a person so it's in opposition to their religion but at the identical time making final that nation break down not embarrassing situation with you so you know magic.
Whirr about how the evil "Xtians" are pitiless, mean, narrowminded, and yearning to be all killed, starting with Mother Teresa.
Be as pitiless, mean and narrowminded as you cup the "Xtrians" are, but say that it's alright for you to be that way so you're Wiccan and the Holy being loves you.
To read the rest of the make an objection, snap in the region of. Fondness I thought, it's joking, irreverant, but several particular. I view they blameless stared at a group of playgans oppress shout Spencer's or other obviously sexual mall staples. This seems to fit that belief. :::sigh:::